Can Sociopaths Fall in Love?

Rossamund
3 min readMay 2, 2024
Can sociopaths fall in love?

Can sociopaths fall in love? A sociopath is a person who lacks empathy and has antisocial personality disorder, is isolated from other people and detached from the rules and norms of society, so it is strange that people like this can appear to be truly in love. Sociopaths are nothing if not confusing, in part because the traits and characteristics of sociopaths sometimes conflict with each other. However, now that you know more, it makes sense to ask, “Can a sociopath fall in love?”

If you manipulate the definition of love the way a sociopath manipulates people, then of course a sociopath can love. However, to truly make this claim, you have to provide a definition of love that suits you at the moment. Don’t worry, you can act like a sociopath and redefine it according to your wishes whenever you want.
When love is a tool used to trap and manipulate a person, sociopaths can love.
When love is easily spoken by the lips but not felt by the heart, sociopaths can love.
If love is a feeling of fascination or power, rather than an emotion, then sociopaths can love.
When love involves pretense, playing a role to gain advantage for oneself, then the sociopath can love.
When love is synonymous with sex and sex is nothing but momentary and meaningless physical pleasure, then sociopaths can love.
When love is a lie told for personal gain and not an expression of relationship, a sociopath can love.
When love is a word and not a feeling, the sociopath can love.
For a sociopath, true love is love for oneself, playing and winning his or her own version of the game of life.

Sociopathy is really a colloquial term for Antisocial Personality Disorder. People who suffer from this disorder often engage in selfish behavior that is detrimental to others. These behaviors can include lying, manipulation, verbal and physical aggression, impulsivity, and deception. And these people often engage in actions that are illegal or border on illegality.

A sociopath can stage great scenes and act in a loving manner. He can pretend to love and care, and you have no idea that he/she is constantly assessing which buttons you should push and when to push them. He/she can emit and express his love and devotion. But seriously, can sociopaths love?
While love is a deep and complex emotion, a feeling of liking, tenderness, bonding, and human connection, no, a sociopath cannot love.

Unsurprisingly, this does not bode well for love or romantic relationships. The key here is that these individuals violate social norms and expectations, which often results in negative consequences for the individual or those close to the individual. With a psychological makeup like that, it is quite clear that a sociopath is incapable of a normal love relationship.

Sociopaths value themselves above everyone else. They are unwilling to think beyond what they want or need, and other people’s feelings are secondary to them. Given that successful relationships are all about compromise and intimacy, such a singular focus will not make a sociopath a good partner.

The basis of the diagnosis of APD is a self-serving ideology; sociopaths make decisions based on their own needs and desires, and do not think about how their actions affect other people, including the people they are in relationships with. These personality characteristics influence an individual’s ability to love to varying degrees. True love is not egocentric and selfish, but requires a foundation of self-confidence and awareness that allows for deep love and respect for others. People with APD do not have the capacity for this, so true love is impossible for them.

--

--