“Dual income no children” is a term that dates back to the 1980s; but lately, people have started using them on TikTok to show off their luxurious lifestyle (“we sleep a full 8 hours and sometimes more”; “our house is clean and quiet”, “we can travel anytime”). This pride was met with cynicism by some people online, calling the couple “pathetic losers”, along with a series of accusations usually leveled at people who do not have children: we are selfish, materialistic, have no interest in the future and , lest we forget, will die alone because our lives ultimately have no meaning.
We are not talking about couples who are having difficulties with IVF or struggling to adopt”, but people who “don’t want children”. Of course, this is well-intentioned — it would be cruel to judge people based on something they can’t control, but it perpetuates the idea that it’s acceptable to judge people based on family arrangements. This shows that there are good reasons for not having children, and there are also reasons that are not worth it.
But what are acceptable reasons for not having children? Serious disease? A traumatic childhood? Money not enough? Not willing to compromise your career?
The people’s motivations behind these deeply personal decisions may be complex and varied, and most importantly, are none of anyone else’s business.
This is also my gripe with the distinction between “childless” and “childfree”, both of which are words that define women — and are usually only reserved for women — because of something lacking in them.
The words “childfree” paint a much-needed positive picture of being a mature woman who isn’t a mother, but they still divide us into 2 groups, neither of which is particularly attractive: childless or childfree. Of course there are cases at both extremes, but the reality for most people is probably somewhere in between and is always changing.
A DINK (dual income, no children) lifestyle is generally considered to mean more time and financial ability to fund non-essential expenses such as vacations, restaurant meals or entertainment. Households with more income and no expenses associated with having children tend to have more disposable income left over. Dual-income, childless households can often save more for retirement than those with children.
Estimated Costs of Raising Children to Age 18 in America.
The cost of raising children is increasing along with inflation. Exact cost estimates vary, but it will likely cost somewhere between $200,000 and $300,000. According to a Brookings Institution study, the average middle-income family will pay $310,605 to raise a child born in 2015 through 17 years of age. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates the cost to be $233,610.
A married couple may have dual incomes and not have children for a variety of reasons, whether they choose not to have children, are unable to have children, or for other reasons. In general, households that have two incomes and no children have more money to spend, save, or invest than households that have children. But on the other hand, couples who don’t have children will be lonely in the future. So, everything depends on your decision.
