How to Recover After a Divorce

Rossamund
4 min readMar 3

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Moving on with your life after a divorce can be scary and exciting at the same time. The judge has signed the final decree on divorce, now what?

Woman feeling lonely after divorce

Before concluding your post-divorce life, you need to know that there may be several exits that you need to work on.Even if the legal divorce proceedings with your partner are finalized, it will likely affect you and is likely to hit your self-esteem.The first step in coping with life after divorce is healing your heart, and here are some expert-approved ways to get started.

Tips to Heal and Start Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Forgive Yourself

The courage to look at your core issues will convince you that you are a courageous and growing person who deserves love, respect, and dignity.It’s easy to think of divorce as a failure, but just because the marriage didn’t work doesn’t mean you’re to blame. Try to look at marriage as a whole, and you’ll see some big and small things that will prove that it just isn’t going to work no matter what you do or don’t do.

Find Silver Lining

If you used to feel a little guilty going out to dinner with your friends when your partner had to work, you officially don’t have to worry about it now.If you’re worried that your partner will be disappointed with your spending or how you choose to spend your free time, this is no longer a problem. There may still be some other things that you cannot and want to do, but now they are fully available to you.

Balance Your Single and Dating Life

You may be tempted to jump right back into the dating game again, but it may be best to take it slow.Divorce takes an emotional toll, so take some time to take care of yourself before signing on completely to take care of someone else again, especially if you have children.A healthy relationship is born from the union of two strong people, hence, growing stronger together.

But that doesn’t mean you aren’t a strong person to go through a divorce. Instead, you’ve spent some time now building a life with your partner. So, now that they’re out of the picture, you’ll benefit from investing some time in learning how to grow as a person.

Here are some ways to keep building yourself after a divorce:

1. Read a self-help book or listen to an inspirational podcast or a room at Clubhouse.

2. Take a class on a topic or career path that you’ve always wanted to explore.

3. Spend some quality time with your friends and family

4. Stay physically active and eat well.

5. Work with a therapist or divorce coach.

Beware of Despair.

You may have reached a stage where you feel hopeless about making peace with your ex. Depending on your situation, this might not be the best for you, your partner, or your family.

Avoid hard bounces. The fear of not being loved or of never finding love again might be driving you to find a new relationship. Resist this temptation and stay grounded in your journey of healing, so you can build relationships based on love, not fear.

To succeed in life after a divorce, you need to be resourceful and comfortable being single. In this way, you create a foundation for autonomy, accountability, and health that contributes to making others around you feel good too. So when you meet the right person, both of you will benefit from the private lessons you’ve been taking.

Embrace Your Coping Skills

Emotion regulation is a lifelong skill. It helps you learn how to deal with intense emotions, and focus on positive self-care and self-soothing. People going through a divorce are initially in survival mode and are often not focused on their well-being. They benefit from learning how to manage their emotions in a daily crisis.

Choosing to spend time engaging in enjoyable activities, and practicing self-soothing and mindfulness allows you to focus on self-care.The hope is that you’ll feel rejuvenated and be able to manage the stressors that are sure to crop up around the next corner.

This skill reduces your vulnerability to emotional pain when painful emotions overwhelm you.It’s important to maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and stay away from mood-altering chemicals.

Doing one thing each day that makes you feel productive and competent also strengthens your self-esteem at a time when your self-esteem often takes major hits.

Divorce can be difficult. It can be hard to get out of a relationship or move on after a divorce. You may be feeling angry, hurt, or out of control. But, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You can use a variety of strategies to help you overcome these challenging emotions.

10 Best Divorce Advice for Women

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