Should You Separate First Before Divorce?
Your marriage is in question and you’re get a true dilemma. You may be the one who is deciding should I stay or should I go. Most articles on divorce are written build upon on the assumption that once a couple says they want a divorce that they are ready for it. Generally when couples start the divorce process, either one but more often than not, both, are not trully ready for it.
Plenty of couples who start a divorce are unprepared and are frequently not even on the same page when they start. It is this lack of preparedness and readiness for a divorce that either trigger marriages to end prematurely or divorces to deteriorate into competitive contests. The decision to get a divorce is one of the most important decisions an individual can make with consequences that last for years or a lifetime.
A decision this crucial needs much greater attention than it is commonly given by both couples and professionals. It is a process in and of itself. Once a couple is prepared and ready, they will sooner be able to start their divorce by both being on the same page and this will remove most of the emotional and financial struggles that trigger divorces to become adversarial and ruthless.
Separation before divorce occurs when you and your spouse or partner stop living together as a couple. You do not require an official document to say if you are separated. One or both of you may make the decision to separate, and tell the other person of that decision. One of you may then decide to move out of the house.
It is possibly to be separated but still to live in the same place. This is known as being separated “under the one roof”. Being separated will mean that, for example, you no longer sleep in the same room and bed, no longer have intercourse together, you may cook and breakfast separately and no longer do household chores for one another.
Allthough there is no official separation document, there are some agencies you may require to inform that you and your spouse, or partner, have separated. You may require to tell Centrelink, if you receive advantages already or if you require financial help. You may also require to contact the Child Support Agency; if you have kid living with both of you, you may be entitled to financial payments (child support) from the husband. (if you are the wife)
Before you approach your partner, think carefully what you will say and where you will have the talk. You want to be cool and talk your decision in a way that results in the least amount of emotional damage to you, your spouse and your kid.
You have to state your desires firmly and be direct, but also show respect and kindness to your partner in your discussions. This is not the good time to catalogue all the reasons your spouse “triggered” this separation and you should not approach the discussion with wrath. Now is not the time to blame each other, but a time to announce your decision in a cool and good manner.
Sometimes, you must be prepared for your partner to beg you for a second chance; think through how you will react to your partner’s desire to go to or continue couples’ counseling, or his or her threats that you will never see your kid again, or you will be cutoff financially. Consider through each possible response you are likely to receive from the partner and practice in the mind how you will respond to threats, tears or indecisiveness from the other side.