If the Vanderpump Rules scandal has taught you anything, it’s that the signs of cheating can be difficult to spot until the affair is revealed. That’s because most of you, including Ariana Madix, tend to cast doubts on your partner regarding fidelity. Trust is essential in healthy relationships.
According to a 2016 survey, one in four young adults who are married and living together admit to having an extramarital affair, while only half admit it. In other words, knowing how to catch cheaters has largely come at the expense of the injured party — unfairly.
So people cheat. But how can you protect yourself? You may notice obvious signs of cheating, like always coming home late without a good reason or finding dating apps on his phone long after you’ve had a “what are we” conversation. To truly identify a fraudster, it’s a good idea to go with your gut and pay attention to the less obvious signs.
The following red flags aren’t meant to raise alarms — almost all of them have alternative explanations, so they’re no guarantee signs of cheating — but if your gut is really trying to tell you something, they might be useful. These indicators are not meant to cause concern, but if your gut is trying to tell you something, they may be useful.
Increasing Interest in Appearance
Of course, taking care of yourself can be a positive thing, but when combined with other suspicious behavior, it can also be a cause for concern. If your partner becomes increasingly interested in their appearance, this may be a sign of cheating.
Other appearance related signs of cheating include:
- Wearing different clothing styles
- Dress better than normal
- Wearing clothes you have never seen
Changes in Communication
Communication failure is not a positive sign. If you can’t get your partner to communicate (or even fight) with you, they no longer share their days with you, or the words “I love you” no longer come out, there is likely an underlying problem.
Signs of a refusal to listen to, respond to, or accept what you have to say may also indicate infidelity:
Changing the topic of conversation to avoid uncomfortable topics
- Ignore what you said
- The hurricane passed without a word
- Give reasons why they can’t talk
- Makes more accusations than talking about the problems that are happening
- Refusing to answer questions
- Using disparaging body language such as rolling or closing your eyes
- Acting passive-aggressively (stalling for time or procrastinating to avoid conversation)
Lying
Dishonesty in a marriage is a dangerous sign. This dishonesty may involve lying about the affair itself, or your partner may also lie about something else. Signs of potential lying-related infidelity include:
When you ask your partner questions about who he or she is with or what he or she is doing, his or her nervousness increases.
You find out your partner has been lying to you about things.
Your partner’s friends seem anxious when they are around you.
Your partner seems more introverted.
Change in Attitude
Your partner may be experiencing work stress or other relationship problems that may be causing a change in attitude. These things may be signs of infidelity, but they can also indicate other problems.
Your spouse is more negative than ever.
You notice your partner feeling confused about themselves.
Your partner is showing signs of low self-esteem.
Your partner seems to want danger or thrill in his or her life.
Your partner seems more likely to fight.
Your spouse becomes more critical of you.
Your partner becomes very defensive if you mention cheating or cheating.
