There is no marriage that is always happy. Like all relationships, it has its ups and downs. But when you fight, happy marriages listen to each other’s points of view, know when the argument will end, and make necessary improvements, such theories say, but in fact, some of the happiest couples “have been through tough times.” So, if you and your partner sometimes fight, or are experiencing difficult times, it doesn’t mean your marriage is unhappy. In fact, it might mean you’re normal.
It takes work to have a healthy marriage, but it can be done. Just as good nutrition and regular exercise can help you have a healthy body, there are several things you can do to have a healthy marriage. Here are some tips for strengthening your marriage:
Don’t Expect Your Spouse to Complete You.
Jerry Maguire is a movie character. When he announces “You complete me,” it’s romantic — but that doesn’t apply in the real world. If you rely on your partner to meet your needs, this can lead to an overly dependent relationship that keeps you from growing as an individual. Instead, partners in a healthy relationship should “complement” each other, not “complete” each other. We must feel safe, mature, and complete in ourselves while remaining open to others. So, make sure you cultivate your own interests and desires — take classes you’re interested in, make plans with friends — rather than waiting for your partner to fill the void.
Focus on Each Other’s Strengths.
It’s not easy to forget small annoyances, and sometimes you might even hate your partner. However, to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, and be able to set realistic expectations. For example, if you’re better at using numbers, don’t get upset if the numbers don’t balance out. Rather, make it your job to set a budget. If a couple’s strength is cooking, the couple can handle meal planning. Using our strengths every day is linked to better well-being. And when we help our partner use their strengths, we feel more relational satisfaction.
Spend Quality Time Together
Whether it’s a weekly date night or a monthly long weekend getaway, it’s important for couples to invest in regularly scheduled time together for just the two of them.
During different seasons of life, such as raising children, going to school, and so on, and in different financial situations, such as a young married couple versus a more established couple, how you spend quality time together may look different; however, it is important that you put something into your calendar regularly.
Laugh with Your Partner
Life is stressful, so it helps to feel light even when you’re in the middle of it. Usually when a couple has humor, it means they have perspective. Laugh in both good and bad times. He said he had noticed that couples in happy marriages had an ease with each other. Whether through small jokes, unexpectedly silly text messages, or even just watching your favorite comedy together, connecting with your partner over a laugh can improve your bond.
Respect Each Other.
When you’re around someone all the time, it’s easy to take them for granted. But you should express your appreciation verbally every day. Whether you’re calling for positive attention to something thoughtful your partner has done, or telling them something you like about them. We all need to feel valued and empowered for the things we do right. For example, if your partner makes you coffee in the morning, let him or her know that you started your day with a smile. If we don’t feel appreciated, we will likely feel resentful and become detached.
