Over time, your marriage has moved into dangerous territory. You worked hard to identify what went wrong, and started a long and slow recovery process. Counter-intuitively, the things that destroy marriages are often subtle, and unintentional, practices rather than single events.
Of course, there are exceptions. But very often, the real problem is what we do unconsciously.
Even the strongest marriages have hiccups. However, the difference between a solid union and a romantic relationship lies in several important relationship components. Here are the subtle things that can destroy your marriage, and how you can change course before it’s too late.
You don’t listen.
Negligent husband is a common thing, so it becomes a stereotype. But the sad truth is, often the wife tells the husband what he needs to know about the state of their relationship. Husband too distracted, or not interested in listening. A reluctance to listen carefully teaches the wife that the husband does not respect his wife, or cares about what they have to say.
This devaluation ultimately leads to a breakup and a loss of intimacy.
Listening is hard, but good job. You need to learn the habit of active listening by: putting your phone down, looking him in the eye, repeating what he says, and expressing genuine concern for his concern. Listening feels like love. So listen carefully.
Weak communication.
It’s necessary to say things that are bothering you as they come up; otherwise, you’re brewing a recipe for resentment and fights that have you literally crying over spilled milk-except it’s not about the dairy. Screaming matches or shutting down and refusing to talk are equally unhealthy ways to argue. Learn to talk about disappointments without blaming.
Always finding ways to fight
Women who want to tuin their marriage always find faults in their husband. This gives the husband signals that you are unhappy with him. Women tend to discuss to their husbands in a bad manner to build a conflicts. They build a tantrum on the smallest things which destroys the relationship
Financial problems
Get on the same page financially. When I meet a couple who has completely separate finances, a lot of the time they have never actually believe each other. A budget can help squash arguments about where the money is going. Usually if you can conquer #3 and make mature decisions that will include financial problems.
The extended family interferes.
When a thirty year old man shows up to his divorce mediation with his mother, sometimes that’s been the case the whole marriage. I’m all about family support but when a person marries, their spouse should be number one.
Momma shouldn’t be making any decisions for the couple or worse yet, couples should never make comparisons between their partner, and their parent. No marriage ever became stronger by wifey saying, ‘Well, my Father always…(blah, blah, blah)…why can’t you?’
