All of you can get married for one or several reasons; the practice of marriage is an old tradition. Historically, it has not always been about love; rather, the purpose of marriage normally only involved sharing resources or keeping a bloodline, such as a royal family. What’s the point of considering marriage if you don’t know its historical basis?
The purpose of marriage is not just happiness. The point of marriage is growth.
The key to becoming a really successful couple is to take action and expand the comfort zone. Marriage is what Dr. David Schnarch, the author of the book “Passionate Marriage”, known as a “Human Growth Machine. In our world, “a new type of marriage has emerged, one that can promote self-discovery, self-esteem, and personal growth like never before. I like the thought of having a growth-centered marriage. That is something I can reach, and it feels satisfying to grow and improve. It is a tangible target.
Regarding goals: in the last few years I began doing things I never thought I’d do. I lift weights.
I used to be a slender little girl. I once dropped a guy when I was country dancing and was so embarrassed by my weak muscles that I never went back. Then I hit the gym. I remember when the first started lifting, I squatted 100 pounds and the coach was like, “Wow, That’s awesome!”
I was so proud of myself! So, I kept at it.
A few years later, after grinding away at the gym weekly, I now squat around 150 pounds. Huge improvement, right? And every time I add another pound, I feel like a winner, because growth is satisfying and progress looks great.
Say you’ve been together an amount of years. You’ve possibly had great times and bad; probably wondered what your lives might be like if you went in differ directions without each other; or followed a distinction life path altogether. If you’re in midlife, you’ve almost definitely had some of these thoughts. Maybe you suppressed them or dismissed them with a big smile. But just as many baby boomers are thinking about “encore careers” or a career shift throughtout one’s prime, I recommend you do the same about your marriage.
Specifically, take an honest look at the marriage as it exists now. With your spouse, confront whether you want it to continue. That is, your goal is to clarify whether you want to stay with this human for the rest of your life. If so, why; and what will it take?
And if that’s not the case, can you end it with respect, regret, and mutual support for your future life paths?
