Why The First Year Of Marriage Is The Hardest

Rossamund
4 min readApr 14, 2024
Reasons Why the First Year of Marriage Can be Tough

Along with the happiness of newlyweds, there can be ups and downs. In fact, it is normal to experience difficult times in the first year of marriage, but don’t panic. By understanding some of the transitions and obstacles you may encounter in your married life, you and your partner can work together to build a strong foundation for the years to come.

The first year of marriage can be the most difficult because it is full of changes and adjustments as you and your partner adapt to your new roles. How you handle this period of adjustment is critical to the longevity of your marriage.

Decreased love, affection, and respect as well as increased ambivalence in the first year of marriage may be predictors of divorce after 13 years. This is based on 2009 research on predictors of marital satisfaction and stress triggers conducted by Ted Huston, PhD, from the University of Texas at Austin.

This study also found that couples who divorced within the first year of marriage showed signs of disappointment and negative attitudes towards each other in the first 2 months of married life. Couples who are still happily married are couples who were able to have positive feelings towards their partner in the initial period of their relationship.

Why is the first year of marriage so difficult? There are various reasons why the first year of marriage can be difficult, this is often due to the many unexpected transitions and adjustments that come with new roles and responsibilities for husband and wife.

Before you panic — don’t panic! Expand yourself with knowledge about some problems that may occur in the first year of your marriage with the person you love. Here are the reasons why the first year of marriage can be tough.

You Could Have an Identity Crisis
Marriage is not the same as cohabitation. Even if you’ve shared an apartment for 7 years, rings add pressure and a real feeling that there’s more investment and the stakes are higher. For some people, the feeling of ‘this is it’ can strengthen their bond, but for other couples, it takes time to adjust to the role of being a lifelong husband or wife. Your decisions are no longer about “me”, but about “us”.

The Post Wedding Blues Are Real
You’ve spent up to half a year (possibly longer) planning that one day. It was more overwhelming than you imagined, but now it’s over. You return to the real world with nothing but problems on your calendar and a regular, old, regular life to resume.

It’s completely normal to feel a little disappointed after your wedding. Some newlyweds really feel the sadness after having such a great time and it’s understandable when you think about it. This is the biggest day of your life with so much planning, anticipation, excitement, bringing together all the people you care about most. about, declaring your love for your partner, parties, happy tears, adrenaline. It’s easy to see why when all that’s said and done, new couples sometimes feel a little empty.

The lead up to and wedding actually triggers all the feel good hormones in your brain, it’s like a natural love drug and there’s always a bit of a ‘down’ from the highs, as you know.

Don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you if you’re feeling a little lost after the wedding. This is a normal reaction but not one that many people talk about. However, there are ways to help relieve sad feelings.

Joint Finance Becomes Very Real
You may already have a joint account to pay some bills, but many couples only face joint finances after getting married. You’ll need to decide on a household budget, be open about your personal debts, figure out how much you can afford to spend on a house deposit or mortgage, and how much money you can both spend on fun each month.

If one person always contributes more than the other or someone is less sensitive about spending their money, this can cause tension.

Relationships Are Hard
Regardless of how far along your relationship is with your partner, relationships are hard! In the first year, you need to balance independence and community, and get used to a routine. It will happen, so there is no need to panic because the first year of married life may not go as smoothly as you hoped.

Tips for Surviving Your First Year of Marriage

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